Great Collection of Sample SMS/Messages

Last month, my friend Sarah showed me a string of texts from her boyfriend that made my stomach turn. Explicit images sent during her work meeting, demanding messages at 2 AM, and language that would make a sailor blush.

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Last month, my friend Sarah showed me a string of texts from her boyfriend that made my stomach turn. Explicit images sent during her work meeting, demanding messages at 2 AM, and language that would make a sailor blush.

She wasn't alone. According to the Pew Research Center, 41% of Americans have experienced online harassment, with intimate partner digital abuse being increasingly common.

Setting firm boundaries through text isn't just about stopping uncomfortable messages—it's about protecting your emotional well-being and establishing relationship standards that honor your worth.

Identifying Inappropriate Texting Behavior

Recognizing when your boyfriend's texts cross the line is the first step toward protecting yourself.

Inappropriate texting includes unsolicited explicit content, disrespectful language, harassment, or messages that violate agreed-upon boundaries and make you feel uncomfortable or unsafe.

Here are clear responses to help you identify and address boundary violations:

• "What you just sent is not okay with me. I need you to respect my boundaries."
• "I didn't consent to receiving explicit images. Please don't send them again."
• "Your tone in these messages is disrespectful. I deserve better communication."
• "Sending me 15 messages in a row feels overwhelming and controlling."
• "I've told you I don't like sexual jokes. Please stop sending them."
• "These messages are making me uncomfortable. We need to talk about boundaries."
• "I don't appreciate being called names, even if you think it's playful."
• "Texting me explicit content while I'm at work is inappropriate and embarrassing."
• "Your messages are crossing into harassment territory. This needs to stop."
• "I feel disrespected when you ignore my requests to change how you text me."

Immediate Boundary-Setting Responses

When inappropriate behavior happens, swift action prevents escalation and establishes clear expectations.

Immediate boundary-setting prevents escalation and clearly communicates that inappropriate behavior is unacceptable, protecting your dignity and emotional safety.

Use these direct responses to stop inappropriate behavior immediately:

• "Stop. That message was completely inappropriate and I won't tolerate it."
• "I'm not engaging with messages like that. Send me something respectful or don't text me."
• "This conversation is over until you can communicate respectfully."
• "I'm blocking you for the rest of the day. Think about how you want to treat me."
• "That crosses my boundaries. If it happens again, we're done talking."
• "I deserve respect in our communication. Start over with a proper message."
• "Your behavior right now is unacceptable. I'm not responding until you apologize."
• "I won't be your verbal punching bag. Change your tone or lose my number."
• "This is your warning. Respect me or don't contact me at all."
• "I'm not your entertainment. Treat me like the person you claim to care about."

Tip: Consider investing in a privacy screen protector to prevent others from seeing inappropriate messages in public spaces.

• Partner Message Privacy: 60+ Boundaries Every Couple Should Know

Messages for Different Types of Inappropriate Content

Different boundary violations require specific responses that address the particular type of disrespect.

Different types of inappropriate texting require specific response strategies that address the particular boundary violation while maintaining your dignity and safety.

Here are targeted responses for various inappropriate behaviors:

• "Sending me sexual content without permission is a form of harassment. Stop immediately."
• "Your controlling messages about who I can see and where I go are unacceptable."
• "Calling me names during an argument shows disrespect, not love. Don't do it again."
• "Texting me at 3 AM demanding immediate responses is manipulative and selfish."
• "Your jealous accusations via text are damaging our relationship. Get help or get out."
• "I won't respond to messages that include threats, even 'joking' ones."
• "Your drunk texts are becoming a pattern. Address your drinking or lose my number."
• "Demanding photos of me is creepy and controlling. I'm not your property."
• "Your messages about my appearance are hurtful, not helpful. Keep them to yourself."
• "Texting me insults when you're angry shows you can't handle conflict maturely."

Professional and Firm Communication Strategies

Maintaining dignity while setting boundaries requires professional communication that focuses on behavior, not character attacks.

Professional boundary-setting communicates standards clearly while avoiding emotional escalation that could complicate resolution and maintains relationship potential.

These responses maintain professionalism while demanding respect:

• "I value our relationship, which is why I need you to communicate respectfully."
• "Let's reset this conversation. I need you to speak to me with kindness."
• "I'm willing to discuss this issue when you can approach it maturely."
• "Your message doesn't reflect the respect I deserve. Please try again."
• "I care about you, but I won't accept disrespectful communication."
• "We can work through problems without you attacking my character."
• "I need space to process this. Contact me when you're ready to be respectful."
• "Your behavior is pushing me away. Is that really what you want?"
• "I'm giving you a chance to apologize and change how you're treating me."
• "Let's talk in person when you've had time to think about your approach."

When to Involve Others or Seek Support

Serious boundary violations may require external support or documentation to address safely.

Persistent inappropriate texting may require external support, documentation, or professional guidance to address safely and protect your well-being.

Use these messages when escalation requires outside help:

• "I'm documenting these messages. Your behavior has become harassment."
• "I've shared your messages with my support system. They're concerned about your behavior."
• "I'm seeking advice about your texting patterns from a relationship counselor."
• "Your messages are evidence of emotional abuse. I'm getting help to address this."
• "I've told my family about how you communicate with me. They're worried."
• "I'm considering involving authorities if this harassment continues."
• "My therapist says your messaging patterns are concerning. We need professional help."
• "I'm not handling this alone anymore. Others are aware of your behavior."
• "Your texts are being saved as evidence of our communication problems."
• "I'm getting support to help me decide if this relationship is healthy."

Tip: Document everything with screenshot apps that include timestamps for potential legal or safety purposes.

• Partner Message Privacy: 60+ Boundaries Every Couple Should Know

Rebuilding Communication After Boundary Setting

Relationship repair requires acknowledging positive changes while maintaining established boundaries.

Relationship repair requires consistent respectful behavior, clear ongoing boundaries, and mutual commitment to appropriate communication standards.

These messages guide healthy communication rebuilding:

• "I appreciate you apologizing and changing how you text me. Let's keep this respect going."
• "Your recent messages show the respect I need. Thank you for making this effort."
• "I'm willing to rebuild trust if you continue communicating appropriately."
• "These boundaries aren't punishment—they're what I need to feel safe and loved."
• "I notice you're being more thoughtful in your messages. It means a lot to me."
• "Let's establish some texting guidelines so we both feel comfortable communicating."
• "I'm encouraged by your behavior change. Consistency will help rebuild our connection."
• "Thank you for respecting my boundaries. This is how healthy relationships work."
• "I'm proud of us for working through this communication issue together."
• "Your effort to change shows you value our relationship. I appreciate that."

Protecting Your Digital Privacy and Safety

Digital safety includes protecting private communications and preventing harassment or stalking behavior.

Digital safety includes protecting private communications, preventing harassment, and maintaining control over personal digital content and privacy boundaries.

These responses address digital privacy and safety concerns:

• "Don't screenshot or share our private conversations with anyone. That's a violation of trust."
• "I didn't give you permission to record our video calls. Delete that immediately."
• "Sharing my photos without consent is a serious violation. Remove them now."
• "Your constant monitoring of my online activity feels like stalking. Stop it."
• "I need you to respect my privacy on social media. Don't comment on everything I post."
• "Creating fake accounts to check on me is creepy and controlling. Delete them."
• "My phone is private. You don't have the right to go through my messages."
• "Demanding my passwords is a red flag. I won't give them to you."
• "Your digital behavior is making me feel unsafe. This needs to change immediately."
• "I'm changing my passwords because your behavior has become invasive and concerning."

Ending Communication When Necessary

Sometimes protecting your safety and dignity requires completely ending inappropriate communication.

Sometimes ending communication is necessary to protect personal safety, dignity, and emotional well-being when boundary violations persist despite clear warnings.

Use these final messages when communication must end:

• "This is my final message. Your behavior hasn't changed, so I'm blocking you."
• "I've given you multiple chances to respect me. I'm done with this relationship."
• "Your continued inappropriate behavior shows you don't respect me. We're finished."
• "I'm blocking your number. Don't contact me through other means."
• "This relationship is over. Your texting behavior is unacceptable and won't change."
• "I deserve better than how you treat me. Don't contact me again."
• "Your harassment has made this decision easy. I'm ending all communication."
• "I'm protecting my peace by removing you from my life. Goodbye."
• "Your behavior has shown me who you really are. I'm choosing myself."
• "This is over. Any further contact will be considered harassment."

• Partner Message Privacy: 60+ Boundaries Every Couple Should Know

Creating Your Own Boundary-Setting Messages

Developing personalized boundary-setting strategies helps you respond authentically while protecting your well-being.

Start by identifying specific inappropriate behaviors that make you uncomfortable. Use clear, direct language that leaves no room for misinterpretation. Focus on consequences for continued boundary violations rather than making empty threats.

Document inappropriate communications by taking screenshots with timestamps. This creates a record of patterns and provides evidence if escalation occurs. Always prioritize your personal safety over relationship preservation.

Seek support from trusted friends, family members, or mental health professionals when dealing with persistent inappropriate behavior. Consider the overall viability of your relationship based on how your partner responds to boundary setting. Trust your instincts about your comfort and safety—they're usually right.

Remember that healthy relationships require mutual respect in all forms of communication. You deserve a partner who honors your boundaries without argument or manipulation.

Setting boundaries isn't about controlling your partner—it's about protecting yourself and creating space for genuine respect to flourish. Your worth isn't negotiable, and neither should be your standards for how you're treated.

These message templates provide starting points, but customize them to match your voice and specific situation. The goal is authentic communication that protects your dignity while addressing inappropriate behavior directly. Share these resources with friends who might need support in similar situations.

Legal reminder: Document harassment, follow U.S. communication laws, and seek legal advice if digital abuse escalates to stalking or threats.

What makes a text message from a boyfriend inappropriate?

Inappropriate texts include unsolicited explicit content, disrespectful language, harassment, controlling demands, threats, or any message that violates your stated boundaries and makes you feel uncomfortable or unsafe.

How should I respond to unwanted sexual texts from my boyfriend?

Respond firmly and directly: "I didn't consent to explicit messages. Stop sending them immediately." Set clear consequences and follow through if the behavior continues.

When should I involve others in inappropriate texting situations?

Involve trusted friends, family, or professionals when behavior escalates, becomes threatening, shows patterns of abuse, or when you feel unsafe handling the situation alone.

Can inappropriate texting be considered harassment or abuse?

Yes, persistent inappropriate texting can constitute digital harassment or emotional abuse, especially when it includes threats, explicit content without consent, or continues after clear boundaries are set.

Should I break up with someone who sends inappropriate texts?

Consider ending the relationship if inappropriate texting continues despite clear boundaries, escalates in severity, or is part of a broader pattern of disrespectful behavior.