Sample SMS Funny Short Jokes

A little girl and her teacher were . . .

A little girl and her teacher were talking about whales
TEACHER: It is not possible for a whale to swallow a human because the throat is small
GIRL: But Jonah was swallowed by a whale
TEACHER: I said it is not possible for a whale to swallow a human
GIRL: Well, when I get to heaven I will ask Jonah
TEACHER: What if Jonah went to hell?
GIRL: Then you ask him!!
.....ouch that hurts.....


In a catholic cafeteria, a nun placed . . .

In a catholic cafeteria, a nun placed a note in front of a pile of apples,
the note read "Take only one, God is watching"
Further down the line is a pile of cookies. A little boy makes his own note,
The note reads "Take all you want, God is watching the apples"



Craze no hard to form, Na the . . .

Craze no hard to form,
Na the trekking be wahala


Some people are so mean you know? How . . .

Some people are so mean you know?
How can I say "Come and Eat just for courtesy sake,
and you bring out a spoon from your pocket?"


A woman thoroughly beats his son for . . .

A woman thoroughly beats his son for stealing
She then asked him "Do you know where your stealing habit wil lead you to?"
Boy replied "Yes I know"
The surprised mum asked "Where?"
Son replied "National Assembly"


FUNNY QUESTIONS NIGERIANS ASK My guy ask me . . .

FUNNY QUESTIONS NIGERIANS ASK
My guy ask me "O boy where you dey?,
I said "I dey bank o"
He then asked "What is happening there?"
I told him "Na new yam festival".
Hahahaha


A man slept hungry, In his dream he . . .

A man slept hungry,
In his dream he was eating rice salad and big chicken lap
While he was still dreaming, his brother called out to him:
" Jonny, you don chop all the pillow finish ooo, na my head you don dey chop so oo"
....Lol....


Your lady will be more attracted to . . .

Your lady will be more attracted to you when you get her an Iphone,
You know why?
Ladies have developed an attraction for apples ever since EVE in the garden



A man and his wife were at . . .

A man and his wife were at a park where a dance show was on,
The man in the midst of the crowd was dancing seriously every kind of dance,
The wife told her husband that she dated that man 25 years ago and wonders why he is dancing like that
Guess what the husband said?
Husband: " He must still be celebraring not marrying you"


My friend thinks he is smart, He told . . .

My friend thinks he is smart,
He told me that an onion is the only food that makes you cry,
So I threw a coconut at his face.


..SHARP GUY.. Inside a drumstick restaurant, one guy . . .

..SHARP GUY..
Inside a drumstick restaurant, one guy was with his babe who was holding a life chicken
ATTENDANT: What do you want sir?
GUY: I want Chicken and chips
BABE: Chai Chukwuma, I carry chicken come from house o, na mama give me
GUY: Chimo! I love you baby. Attendant abeg give us only chips, we get our own chicken.


Conversation between a mother and the son SON: . . .

Conversation between a mother and the son
SON: I dont like my math teacher
Mother: Why?
SON: He is very confused!
MUM: How?
SON: Day before yesterday he said 5+4=9, yesterday he said 3+6=9 and today he said 2+7+9
MUM: What! Can you imagine? I told your dad I never liked that school...You are leaving there tomorrow


A boy found a bag of money . . .

A boy found a bag of money and called a radio station
BOY: Hello! I found a lost bag with 15 million naira belonging to Mr. Dan in Maitama Abuja
PRESENTER: You are such a candid boy! I believe you want to return the bag, right?
BOY: No o...I'm I mad? For what reason? I just want to dedicate a song to him
PRESENTER: (Shocked) What!!
BOY: Abeg, play me "My helper ooo"...


ABEG WHO MUMU PASS? An aboki man and . . .

ABEG WHO MUMU PASS?
An aboki man and an Igbo man went to the ATM to withdraw money
While the aboki man was using the ATM, the Igbo said "Aboki, you mumu o! I don see your password, its ****"
The aboki laughed at him and said " Na you be mumu, my password na 6196, no be ****"


“Finally it’s here. How to get 7GB . . .

“Finally it’s here. How to get 7GB for just #200 on MTN.
First, ensure you are on MTN Ipulse,
Load #200 MTN card and send 419 to 33333,
You will get a reply that says “Dear criminal, how you wan take get 7GB for #200?
You think say we be father Christmas? Ole!! Thief!!”…LOL…