Sample SMS Funny Short Jokes
In a catholic cafeteria, a nun placed a note in front of a pile of apples,
the note read "Take only one, God is watching"
Further down the line is a pile of cookies. A little boy makes his own note,
The note reads "Take all you want, God is watching the apples"
A little girl and her teacher were talking about whales
TEACHER: It is not possible for a whale to swallow a human because the throat is small
GIRL: But Jonah was swallowed by a whale
TEACHER: I said it is not possible for a whale to swallow a human
GIRL: Well, when I get to heaven I will ask Jonah
TEACHER: What if Jonah went to hell?
GIRL: Then you ask him!!
.....ouch that hurts.....
Some people are so mean you know?
How can I say "Come and Eat just for courtesy sake,
and you bring out a spoon from your pocket?"
A woman thoroughly beats his son for stealing
She then asked him "Do you know where your stealing habit wil lead you to?"
Boy replied "Yes I know"
The surprised mum asked "Where?"
Son replied "National Assembly"
Your lady will be more attracted to you when you get her an Iphone,
You know why?
Ladies have developed an attraction for apples ever since EVE in the garden
A man slept hungry,
In his dream he was eating rice salad and big chicken lap
While he was still dreaming, his brother called out to him:
" Jonny, you don chop all the pillow finish ooo, na my head you don dey chop so oo"
Inside a drumstick restaurant, one guy was with his babe who was holding a life chicken
ATTENDANT: What do you want sir?
GUY: I want Chicken and chips
BABE: Chai Chukwuma, I carry chicken come from house o, na mama give me
GUY: Chimo! I love you baby. Attendant abeg give us only chips, we get our own chicken.
Conversation between a mother and the son
SON: I dont like my math teacher
SON: He is very confused!
SON: Day before yesterday he said 5+4=9, yesterday he said 3+6=9 and today he said 2+7+9
MUM: What! Can you imagine? I told your dad I never liked that school...You are leaving there tomorrow
A man and his wife were at a park where a dance show was on,
The man in the midst of the crowd was dancing seriously every kind of dance,
The wife told her husband that she dated that man 25 years ago and wonders why he is dancing like that
Guess what the husband said?
Husband: " He must still be celebraring not marrying you"
A boy found a bag of money and called a radio station
BOY: Hello! I found a lost bag with 15 million naira belonging to Mr. Dan in Maitama Abuja
PRESENTER: You are such a candid boy! I believe you want to return the bag, right?
BOY: No o...I'm I mad? For what reason? I just want to dedicate a song to him
PRESENTER: (Shocked) What!!
BOY: Abeg, play me "My helper ooo"...
My friend thinks he is smart,
He told me that an onion is the only food that makes you cry,
So I threw a coconut at his face.
ABEG WHO MUMU PASS?
An aboki man and an Igbo man went to the ATM to withdraw money
While the aboki man was using the ATM, the Igbo said "Aboki, you mumu o! I don see your password, its ****"
The aboki laughed at him and said " Na you be mumu, my password na 6196, no be ****"
“Finally it’s here. How to get 7GB for just #200 on MTN.
First, ensure you are on MTN Ipulse,
Load #200 MTN card and send 419 to 33333,
You will get a reply that says “Dear criminal, how you wan take get 7GB for #200?
You think say we be father Christmas? Ole!! Thief!!”…LOL…